I have been avoiding this blog post for several months because It’s kinda painful and revealing. But what I’ve realized in the last several years of blogging about weight loss is that the more revealing I am about my own life and that of a weight loss & fitness trainer, the more I connect with you and the more you trust me.
As you should because I have a very important message in this post.
First, I am not perfect (nor am I the CrossFit diva you may think I am ). Things don’t come easy for me and I have the same struggles as you do when it comes to exercise, eating well, and having self-respect & healthy self-esteem.
This past summer revealed an underlying pain and insecurity that I was unaware of.
I was dating a man who became verbally abusive. Not in the beginning of course. In the beginning he was a dream, a charming creative artist who won me over. But then things changed. He began getting moody, insulting my work, they way I lived my life and would randomly insult me physically.
I like to think I am pretty self-aware so I did not believe his insults were actually about me. I truly believed and still do that he was expressing ugliness and hurt that he had inside of him about himself. As is my tendency, I felt sorry for him and told him so.
While there were many mean & manipulative pain points he managed to figure out and spew at me, the one that stuck in my mind stunned me. Let me say before I go further that this man is no longer part of my life but I will forever be changed by my experience with him. While in one of his dark moods, he said I was fat, ugly and that my ass was so big he couldn’t believe I was a trainer. This was one of his more mild insults. My response was to laugh and tell him that he’s just trying to be mean. That was part of our last conversation and that was about 5 months ago.
To my surprise, I couldn’t let that and other things he said go. I thought about them all the time. I have worked for 2 decades in the fitness industry, changing negative self-esteem in to positive, inspiring people to be the best they can and most importantly, helping them create a healthy body and here I was confused as to why of all the hurtful words he said, calling me fat & ugly was a belief that I identified with. I couldn’t believe it. Intellectually, I know his words are not true but sub-consciously there was a wound, a belief.
If you work with me, you know that I do not allow anyone to speak badly of themselves. I actually insist on rephrasing negative body comments or expressions of weakness. We turn, “I feel old, tired, fat, and so not wanting to workout today,” in to “today may not be my day, but I am here to heal my body by moving it and giving it some love.” Cheesy? Maybe, but it’s a non-negotiable rule of mine. Although there are days when my sassy reply is just, “If you say so!” My clients, in turn get the message & begin rephrasing things themselves. Success!
Because of my new and very personal “self-talk & other-talk” awareness, I want to share with you how important it is to watch your words and how damaging it can be when you don’t. I had created a message, a belief, that was so deeply rooted, I didn’t know it was there and it was painful to discover.
So what did I do and how can I weave this experience in to a lesson for myself and for you?
I took it upon myself to explore where this belief came from by doing some emotional body work with my saviors and yoga instructors at Turbo Dog Yoga. Both Steve Emmerman & Talya Ring are instrumental in helping me not only explore where I hold these damaging beliefs in my body but they have taught me techniques to let go of them and heal. I see this as a life long journey and I want to share one of these techniques today so you may get started with your own healing from self-defeating beliefs about your body and yourself.
First of all, Steve & Talya reminded me,
“The Toltecs refer to words as swords and magic. They recognize the power that words have to inflict pain and to manipulate people’s emotions, and they also recognize the power that words have to get stuck within us.”
then they introduced me to the Sedona Method, a series of questions you ask yourself that lead to awareness to what you’re feeling in the moment and gently guide you in to the experience of letting go. I took the steps below from the Sedona Method website.
Step 1: Focus on an issue that you would like to feel better about, and then allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling in this moment. Keep this simple.
Step 2: Ask yourself one of the following three questions:
• Could I let this feeling go?
• Could I allow this feeling to be here?
• Could I welcome this feeling?
Step 3: No matter which question you started with, ask yourself this simple question: Would I? In other words: Am I willing to let go?
Step 4: Ask yourself this simpler question: When?
Step 5: Repeat the preceding four steps as often as needed until you feel free of that particular feeling.
I know this sounds simplistic but don’t let that deter you from starting. It can take a little bit of practice or it can work instantly. This method and the support of my instructors have been instrumental to my healing and I am forever grateful. X’s & O’s to Talya, Steve, & Leslie.
If you would like personal instruction with this technique, I am happy to share more of my experience and I am here for you. Send me an email. Call me on the phone. If you are in the Chicago area, check out the Turbo Dog Yoga community. There is much love and support there. Share this post with others you may think will benefit, add your thoughts or comments below and be careful with your words.
Strength & Love,
*BTW I took the Selfie above & asked mean guy if I should wear that dress to a wedding. He responded by telling me I look like Jessica Rabbit. He was having a good day.
It’s jeans season…
and amidst the beautiful colors, crunchy leaves, & pumpkin spice, there’s an event more scary than a haunted house on Halloween…
trying on last year’s jeans!
There’s nothing more annoying than the feeling of your belly hang over the waistband or worse…not being able to zip them up!
I know that before you head out to watch your favorite football team, you’re mercilessly trying to squeeze into last year’s jeans, irritated by the “abundance” because the same thing always happened to me!
Fortunately, I was saved from that annual disappointment this year because I was introduced to the Paleo way of eating. Paleo nutrition, sometimes called The Paleo Diet, Paleo Solution, or Primal something or other, changed my life, health, & body.
The basis of eating ‘Paleo’ is to eat fresh, real foods and eliminate troublesome foods such as
sugar, alcohol, and anything that requires processing
It’s deemed ‘Paleo’ because it mimics our ancestors diet in the Paleolithic period of cultural humanity.
One of the immediate benefits I saw from eliminating the troublesome foods was my belly disappeared.
In 3 days!
AND all my clients who were willing to pop on to this Paleo Bandwagon with me, experienced the same thing.
So here is what I did…
have the same belly flattening results.
In the plan, I give you
- exactly what to eat and
- exactly how to workout
so you can fit in to your favorite jeans in just 1 week.
I know you will flatten your belly in just a few days with the right foods and right exercise plan and I will get you started instantly as many of my clients have, if you are willing to do something a little out of the ordinary.
Try an Online diet & workout plan.
My online, downloadable Slim Down To Sip Up! 7-day fat loss plan comes with my personal coaching via email for the entire 7 days. You don’t even have to leave your home and you’ll get my expert coaching and support.
“I used the paleo, slim down to zip up program, and i lost five lbs. Instantly! I felt more energy, less bloat and more control over myself again! Since i started eating better, I have now lost 12lbs, and almost 4% body fat! Thank you! I have needed a push for years! Your words everyday pushed me off the couch to a much higher, healthy quality of life! I would recommend this, and have already!” ~ Wendy R.
You will not be restricting calories, drinking magic teas, or cooking time consuming recipes. It’s just EASY to follow food assembly and workouts that you can do at home or in your gym for one easy breezy week.
You will be eliminating trouble foods that cause your belly to puff up, out, and cascade over your favorite jeans such as the Top 3 Fat Loss Sabotageurs
1. Whole Grains
and you’ll have instant access to 4 New Workout Videos,
- Fat Burning 50 HIIT
- Forever 21 Abs
- Slim Down Strength 1 & 2
I won’t lie, the intensity & volume of these workouts is as if you are competing in Miss Bikini Universe. But it’s energizing and like I tell my clients, “It doesn’t have to be EASY to be FUN!” You’ll work HARD but you’ll feel accomplished, like you’re finally taking control & detoxing the annoying belly fat out of your body. Do you have bikini model determination to get rid of your belly?
Are you in?
“After 3 days of cutting out grains and dairy, my belly went down. I think I’m definitely allergic to dairy. I’m gonna keep going. If I can feel this good in just 3 days, I’m in. Thanks, Jill!” ~ Anne C.
“I cannot believe that after just one week, my pooch doesn’t hang over the waistband of my workout pants!” ~ Susie G.
Strength & Love,
Around this time every year, Everyone wants to detox!
If you Spring Clean your house, you should
Spring Clean your body!
I for one, feel like I could use a fresh start to “air” out all that’s been bound and settled in my body over the winter. Personally, I think it’s a fantastic idea.
Spring time is the next fresh start after the New Year’s weight loss vows.
If you know me and my weight loss philosophy at all, I am a huge proponent of eating real food for weight loss. Commercial Detox Programs that require you to buy powders and capsules to “detox” are not what I recommend.
It just seems unnatural…doesn’t it?
Detox time is not the time to bring synthetic or processed anything into your diet NOR is it a time to exclude important nutrients such as protein as many juice cleanses do.
I think the best way to cleanse your body from the inside is with a REAL and WHOLE food program that leaves out all processed food and ingredients…mainly
If you are psyched about Spring Cleaning your body from the inside with real food and if you’re interested in taking your
Program to the next level,
my recommended Go-To-Detox program is the
The 21-Day Sugar Detox
Be sure to let me know when you’re going to start so I can support you
Strength & Love,
I can’t take credit for this post but, I sent it to my newsletter list & received tons of ecstatic responses. One woman even said she’s printing it out to paste on her refrigerator!
Eggs do not cause heart disease and are among the most nutritious foods on the planet. Eggs for breakfast can help you lose weight.
Newer studies have proven that saturated fat does not cause heart disease. Natural foods that are high in saturated fat are good for you.
3. Everybody Should Be Eating Grains
Grains are relatively low in nutrients compared to other real foods like vegetables. The gluten grains in particular may lead to a variety of health problems.
4. Eating Alot of Protein is Bad for Your Bones & Kidneys
Eating a high protein diet is associated with improved bone health and a lower risk of fracture. High protein also lowers blood pressure and improves diabetes symptoms,
which should lower the risk of kidney failure.
5. Low Fat Foods Are Good for You
Low-fat foods are usually highly processed products loaded with sugar, corn syrup or artificial sweeteners. They are extremely unhealthy.
6. You should eat Small Meals throughout Your Day
There is no evidence that eating many small meals throughout the day is better than fewer, bigger meals. Not eating from time to time is good for you. Increased meal frequency is associated with colon cancer.
7. Carbs Should Be Your Biggest Source of Calories
The low-fat, high-carb diet is a miserable failure and has been proven repeatedly to be vastly inferior to lower-carb, higher-fat diets.
8. High Omega-6 Seed & Vegetable Oils Are Good For You
Humans need to get Omega-6 and Omega-3 fats in a certain ratio. Eating excess Omega-6 from seed oils raises your risk of disease.
9. Low Carb Diets are Dangerous
Low-carb diets are the healthiest, easiest and most effective way to lose weight and reverse metabolic disease. It is a scientific fact.
10. Sugar is Unhealthy Because it Contains Empty Calories
The harmful effects of sugar go way beyond empty calories. Sugar wreaks havoc on our metabolism and sets us up for weight gain and many serious diseases.
11. High Fat Foods Will Make You Fat
Diets that are high in fat (and low in carbs) cause much greater fat loss than diets that are low in fat.
Here are a few. Try out some of your own…it’s fun!
“I was Sexy ALL Damn Weekend!”
“Im WAY too Sexy to workout today!”
“My BUTT is really, really, really Sexy!”
“OMG, I am So Sexy!”
“I was so Sexy, I couldn’t move for 5 DAYS!”
“I had to be helped out of bed, I was SO Sexy!”
“I was so Sexy, I couldn’t even SIT DOWN!”
“Lunges? Do you KNOW how Sexy I am!?!”
“But I’m Still Sexy from LAST week!”
“That workout made me way TOO Sexy!”
“I’m so Sexy it hurts!”
“It’s been a LONG time since I’ve been THIS Sexy!”
Kittens, If you’re not feeling REALLY REALLY Sexy, it’s time to change your workout so that you do!
Strength & Love,